Feb 082012

Philadelphia Eagles logoForbes magazine has just published a poll regarding America’s most disliked athlete, and the “winner” was Eagles quarterback and textbook psychopath Michael Vick.

It’s possible people voted for Vick due to his stupidity, inability to read defenses, inability to see the blitz, propensity for turnovers, and refusal to slide.  But not likely.

No, people hate Vick because he’s a torturing monster.  Anyone with half a brain and an ounce of integrity knows this.  But there are still many, from insipid WIP callers to otherwise solid PSC posters, who slurp everything Vick because the guy can run fast and throw far.  It’s the American Way to worship idols in the face of common sense, from the religious types to those who think Justin Bieber has any redeeming qualities to those who still defend the late Joe Paterno’s cowardice.

Of course, many of those Vick worshippers are changing their stance now that Vick has shown he’s incapable of winning, but that’s another story.

And unfortunately, it’s still very common to hear the easily duped defend Vick as someone who made a “mistake”, but people who think that are nearly as dumb as the herpes-infected QB himself.

Making a mistake is filing your taxes late, or “forgetting” to claim all your earnings.  Making a mistake is getting drunk and hitting on your wife’s sister.  Making a mistake is shooting yourself in the leg at a nightclub and getting time for it.  Making a mistake is thinking the Eagles have a chance to win a Super Bowl under Andy Reid.

No, what Vick did was a pre-meditated lifestyle involving not only the forced fighting of animals but the unnecessary torture of those who wouldn’t or couldn’t kill other animals well enough.  The fighting is barbaric and appeals to lowlifes but it’s not necessarily unforgivable.  It’s the creative way of ending helpless creatures lives that is truly disgusting and symptomatic of a remorseless monster.

And even after serving his time, when asked what he’d be doing if he didn’t get caught (you know, after repeatedly lying about everything), Vick said he’d still be doing it.  Still forcing dogs to fight each other for his amusement.  Still electrocuting by the balls those who wouldn’t fight.  Still slamming the losers’ bodies into the ground over and over again until they stopped squealing and died.  Still kidnapping neighborhood pets to be thrown in with the fighting dogs to see which ones were the best at mauling and killing (the ones who weren’t got the drowning treatment).

That’s not a mistake, morons. 

Another common refrain heard by Vick’s spineless defenders is “buh, buh, but what about Donte Stallworth, he drove drunk and killed a guy, that’s worse than killing dogs!”  The latter point is true but it’s a completely unrelated analogy that serves only to prove the ignorance of the person making the statement rather than create an avenue of defense for Vick.  What Stallworth did was a terrible thing.  A terrible mistake, actually.  See, as awful as it was that a man lost his life due to Stallworth’s carelessless, it wasn’t murder.  It wasn’t cold blooded.  It was a horrible decision made by Stallworth to drive while intoxicated, but it wasn’t pre-meditated and it wasn’t something Stallworth intended to happen.

What the slow folk who defend Vick can’t process is that the only way to compare the two situations would be if Stallworth had a regular habit of drinking and then going out in his car and looking for people to run over, Grand Theft Auto-style.  And he’d have to do it over and over again, laughing every time.

Just like how Vick admitted to laughing while watching his two friends and accomplices hold a dog by the ankles, a dog who had refused to fight and was therefore deemed useless, and slam its body into the ground over and over again until it died a horrible, excruiciating death.  Death by being beaten into the ground for not fighting.  Yeah, Vick’s a great guy.

But still, it’s almost easy to understand that there are those who have to bury their head in the sand about it because, really, what else are they supposed to do?  The piece of garbage is now the starting quarterback of their favorite team, and real fans can’t just stop being real fans.  So you hold your nose and suspend your integrity just to get through Sunday.  It’s worse than the repercussions of your wife seeing you drunkenly hitting on her sister.

But to outright defend and even admire Vick is incomprehensible, Eagles player or not.  Vick is more akin to a serial killer or child molestor than he is to other Forbes-named douchebags like Plaxico Burress, Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, Kris Humphries, and Kurt Busch.  Those guys are known for general douchebaggery, not heinous torture. 

What’s really hard to believe isn’t that Vick was number one, but that it wasn’t unanimous.

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